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feel so strange

It's wierd to get comfortable in a certain kind of existance and then have the opportunity to stare into the void again. I did what I had to do and I knew I would have to carve out a life for myself. I'll be honest and say I'm a little terrified. Good thing I'm gonna go hang out with my mom. She really rocks the unconditional love.


After my 3-year relationship with Oklahoma Girl (and thus her son) ended, I moved out, and ended up moving by myself into a tiny one-bedroom apt. With almost no possessions other than a couple small pieces of furniture, my computer, some books, and so on. For about a month all I had to sleep on was an inflatable mattress that was so pitiful that my ass would hit the floor when I laid on it.
Living in a place completely by myself absolutely freaked me out at first. It had been *so* long since I'd lived somewhere where there weren't always other people around.

It was one of the loneliest points I've ever had in my life.
But at the same time, there was like this strange sense of peace as well, you know?

I knew that right at that moment life really, really sucked, but I also knew that those changes I forced upon myself were for the best, and that things would slowly, steadily get better because of them.

I don't know the specifics of your situation, but I can tell you that the peace will come. It just takes a little while sometimes...