entertain the pain
I had a discussion over lunch with a friend about the meaning of life. It sounds trite, because everyone assumes that the meaning of life is some unreachable thing, or that it's something simple like, "Help other people."
What we were talking about was how in spite of all the good ideas we have, besides being good, intelligent men (for what that's worth) we are still floundering, hardly able to scrape together a real living for ourselves, and wondering if our values that we held so highly are really worth anything.
I cringe now at the confidence with which I told people of my Buddhist ideals, about the Bodhisattva vow to keep being reborn over and over...even in hell, for the benefit of beings...to work for the freedom and benefit of every single sentient being until all of them are free from confusion and suffering.
I guess I wouldn't be the first idealistic young person to discover that it's not so easy. It's not so easy to try and choose a spiritual life, lost in your own bad habits and compromises. Every day I wake up and go to work and I'm not sure what good I'm doing. But then at night all I want to do is rent a movie and be entertained. Just entertain the pain.
Comments
You know what, D?
No matter what's going on with you, you're always ready to help someone when they need it. And you never close the book on anybody no matter how fucked up they've been.
Generosity and forgiveness:
Those are qualities pretty high on the list of anyones religion. Wisdom, true compassion, self-awareness, self-acceptance-these are always a work in progress. You could sit there and beat your head against it all night, or you could rent a movie and relax.
Anyhow, the meaning of life, besides not being a total fuckhead, is Nubian Goatmilk yogurt.
And I just happen to know where you can get some... As well as some really yummy snuggling or a boot to the head, whichever you need more.
Posted by: lynx | October 16, 2002 2:43 PM
Life has no meaning. Life is its own meaning. Take your pick.
Sure it's not so easy. That's where the real fun starts. It's the "try and choose" part that makes the spiritual life, not the believing part.
My own life is a continuous cycle of "coming back" from what I have been doing to what I know I should be doing. Should it be any other way? Keep coming back.
And a movie once in a while is always nice.
Posted by: Cody | October 17, 2002 7:05 AM
Aaaah yes. The rain of pain falls mainly in the brain.
Posted by: Elke | October 19, 2002 6:51 PM
You know that if you spend too much time trying to figure out the meaning of life, you miss all the good chase scenes in the movie, and life itself.
Posted by: Jay | October 21, 2002 9:27 AM
What an honest, earnest entry. It reminds me of the quote from Joseph Campbell. He said, "We must be willing to get rid of the life we planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." It may sounds a bit trite, but it rings true for me.
Now, do I do it? Get out of my own way, free myself from my own ideas of who I am or how I should live? That is something I am working on.
Posted by: Linda | October 21, 2002 1:29 PM
Oh, D. Watch your movie, and then sit, honey. Don't forget to just sit.
Posted by: Anonymous | October 21, 2002 1:56 PM