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not.so.soft: sex week guest post

Alright then, I've asked a few of my favorite online writers to come up with an apropos post for sex week (which I have a feeling is going to take longer than a week).

The first of them is Meg, of the fine weblog not.so.soft, who offers first this fine story:

not.so.soft sex

I'd been having sex for eighteen months, before I finally had sex in a bed. Tents? Sure. Sofas? Of course. The floor of the reading room in the college library? Absolutely. But never in a bed.

Before we go any further, let's get something straight. I'm no slapper. I'm more chaste than plenty of people I know, and this rather unusual start to my active sexual life is a product of circumstance rather than choice.

I'm not sure why, exactly - put it down to a combination of sharing a dorm-room in college and wrong time/place issues - but I remember the sheer guilty pleasure achieved the first time we slipped between cool sheets and did the dirty. I was more interested in the pattern on the duvet cover and the sensation of springs digging into my back than anything that was going on above me. It even smelt different. Like warmth, and cosiness, and...bed. So different from the smell of stale beercans, new books, or damp wetsuits. Smell has always been important.

I have a page of bad poetry written at eighteen, in which I manage to declare undying lust for my then boyfriend while simultaneously bemoaning the fact that we had only ever made love in a pile of discarded wetsuits in the dive room. Sex with him smelt of neoprene and brine and kelp. A sensual activity, indeed.

Later in the week, when we get into some seriouser stuff, we will also have a poetry offering by the lovely noomeejahoor. What I want to know is, what exactly is a slapper?


It means slut!

it means slut alright. My flatmate Emily and I always call each other dirty slappers. I love it!

slapper = tart

It's a key contribution to the English language, that's what it is. Like in Shauny's situation, where I live it's used in a rather casual manner.

"You know, you're such an ol' slapper."