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ok, screw it

What is life other than the dirty details? Lest my sweet little tinyblog morph into something consistantly interesting but nothing ever truly compelling...I must tell my story.

So this beautiful woman. Yes this one. Although we have super-mojo hot pants for each other (and really always have), and although we hooked up romantically recently in such a sweet way, it seems that she never really considered me boyfriend material. I think she was ready to give it an attempt, but it retrospect it seems like a pretty half-hearted one. She seemed totally filled with analytical doubt from day one. "This doesn't have to go any particular way," she said. "If you find someone more interesting, I'll understand." Red flags kids? I thought you might think so.

BUT! I said (I'm filled with buts, whenever I see red flags...there's some sort of connection there.) BUT, she will soon see that I have mastered fidelity, and in spite of reacting warmly to the entire human race (I've been sometimes accused of being "flirty", can you believe it?) would overwhelm her with my devotion to her.

I don't think it has worked that way. And her reaction to my saying the wrong name on the phone seemed as if it must be a symptom of that. We were both finally getting so stressed about it, after only 3 weeks, that we decided that it would be better to just call it quits. There was a certain relief to doing so, and then we felt a certain openness to each other, and talked lucidly about how it might be difficult to just kind of...you know...break it off. Especially since some parts of it had been so...you know...phenomenal.

I called her to say hi the next night (last night) and she told me she was going out dancing at a private club and invited me. I went. When I got there she was already pretty lit. 20 minutes later she asked me if I had come because I wanted to come home with her. At first I thought that she was asking to determine my intentions...and then I realized that that it was an offer.

I took her up on it.