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a sucky boyfriend

Sheesh, I mean, what made me decide it was a good idea to be someone's boyfriend anyway. I haven't historically been so top caliber. The evidence:

blow-off

One time, I had made plans for my first girlfriend to come over to my house. She had already left when this guy I knew who programmed computer games called me and asked me if I wanted to come to work with him and see what he was working on. I was torn. I had wanted to go with him more than anything. I called my girlfriend to see if she were home but she wasn't. I couldn't get a hold of her so I left a message and went to work with this guy. She ended up getting dropped off by her Dad at my house and I wasn't there. Even my Mom thought that was pretty lame.

Pendulous

Once, in looking for adjectives to describe why I liked my girlfriend's breasts...I used the word "pendulous". I meant it in a poetic way, just that I liked the sway of them. For some reason, though, my girlfriend immediately leapt for the dictionary and looked it up. I was not previously aware of the dictionary definition of pendulous, but let me assure you that it is not a flattering way to describe a woman's breasts. Suffice it to say that I did not have a fun week.

a pot to piss in...

I have really never been solvent my entire adult life, so I've never really been able to provide that family of "special things" that only money can buy: exiting nights out on the town, drinks, fancy dinners, well chosen jewelry, etc...

gross!

I think my habit of chewing with my mouth open is so ingrained at this point that it would be very difficult to correct in any long-term way. I bite both my fingernails and toenails. Since I broke my back, my digestive system is a little sluggish, so I rarely hold in gas...is this more information than anyone wanted?

Well...

Maybe I'm not so bad...(see A Pretty Damn Solid Boyfriend).