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the dark side IV

John's high-rise Capitol Hill combo was the masterpiece of a finicky, Catholic, gay investment banker, who clearly had massive amounts of money to burn. It was clean, it was wall to wall quality, it was fastidious. The Catholic iconography was a little wierd, and he seemed to place an almost cosmic signifigance on that fact that his cat liked me. Go figure. It could have been so much worse, eh?

He told me right off the bat that having penetrative sex was off the table so I didn't need to worry. He just suggested we go lay in his bed and watch some gay porn and just kinda go with the flow.

It's so funny to me now, I was like, "Alright, let's get to work." I just turned it on, got him all worked up, jerked him off, gave him a little massage, and walked out the door with a hundred dollar bill. It was lovely. As I left, I thought about taking a cab or taking myself out to dinner, but remembered that $100 wasn't really that much money, and that I had gone into this so I could pay my psycho roommates for utilities and make a clean getaway. So I took a cab.

I think I was expecting Sambo to provide me with a steady flow of clients or something, but I clearly didn't have a very good idea of what I was really going to do. I didn't go to bars or know how to operate in that thing, and I really (thankfully, in retrospect) just didn't know what the hell I was doing.

I tried to be open with my friends about what I was doing, but down to the last one, they all freaked out and thought I was degenerating quickly into a drug-addled AIDS infested streetwalker in a hurry. Some expressed concern, and my roommates, who I was doing this partially to pay back, reacted with some of the most spiteful disgust I have ever experienced.

I saw John 2 more times. One of those times he gave me $500, so in my entire career, I made $700 for 3 hours of work (although arguably my innocence or something) which I think is a pretty good rate.

Finally he went on vacation and in the face of the fact that I had no idea how to find other nice, rich, generous people like him, I ended up finding another place to live, getting a legit job as a home health aide, and finally going to massage school, where I learned the power of touch and why I would never, ever, ever, ever, ever sell sexuality again. It was a healing time.

But wait. I have a couple more stories to tell you about the dark side of sex. In fact, when I look at these, I see that they're really not so dark. In my career I actually netted $660 after expenses. And that's the story I'm going to tell next.


"You know, I'm really developing an affection for your weblog. These post of yours are really well written, entertaining, witty, shall I go on, well I don't do prose. Thanks for jerkin' me off!"