« the invention of MOVABLE TYPE | Main | big dork »

are you going to dangle your weenie?

I find great pleasure in peeing outside. It just seems natural. Being a boy, I can usually find a discreet place anywhere, even in the city. I'm averse to doing it on cement, or somehwere it's going to dry and smell, but anywhere it will soak into the ground is not in bad form in my opinion.

I know, I know. Usually such behavior is reserved only for drunken frat boys and chronic public inebriates, but I cannot help the way I am. Even given the choice of a fine marble bathroom or the great outdoors, I will always choose to go behind a tree in the twilight. Only then do I feel I can truly relax.

But not everyone is such a fan. My sister can tell by the tone of my voice, "Hey Elisabeth, hold on."

She sighs, "You're gonna go dangle your weenie?"

"Yep."

Sometimes girls say they wish they had a weenie to dangle, but I have seen plenty of girls who could whip out their booties and hang it out over the ground (watch out for tall grass!), take care of business and have no one be the wiser. I speak of her and her. But alas, it seems to be a rare skill, and they still do have to actually get a waistband down to their thighs.

So if you ever meet me, and we are out for a walk, and I say, "Hang on a sec...", then simply look the other way and tap your foot if it bothers you...or just continue the conversation, I don't care...I'm sure you've all seen one before.