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sexy celibacy

Written on a piece of paper on in my new apartment last night (boy I'll be happy when I have a working dial-up at home):

I feel so aware of myself and so...so sexy! I want to just take a hot bath, listen to John Coltrane, and settle back on my futon and just get my groove ON if you know what I mean (and I think you DO.)

So why wouldn't I? Well, I decided to be celibate for a year. (It's 5 months and counting, as of tomorrow.) When I told my Lama about it, he said he thought it was a good idea. Then, he sort of cleared his throat and said, "Well, Daniel, does that include making love to your hand?"

I said I wasn't sure and he said it was probably more beneficial if it did. I agreed. I continue to agree.

But oh, when I'm here in my pretty little apartment and my own tender body, listening to Tom Waits and PJ Harvey somehow it just awakens this part of me. Thank God my secret valentine lives on another continent or I would be at her doorstep tonight and I would be TROUBLE!