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maybe i should have drunk more

Once I get to sleep, I'm out until something really loud wakes me up, or until someone says my name.

It's not so easy to get there, though.

Tonight I did that rarest of things. I went to bed for an hour, and finally got up in frustration to work. Then I went back and laid down. Then I got up to blog, ruefully. It's worse when I have somewhere I have to be in the morning. That's the worst.

When I sleep with another person and I have it, I keep them up too. I don't try to. I can lay there very still with them, and even feel very relaxed. After many minutes pass it becomes quite clear that no one is sleeping. Then at least I have company.

Tonight I went to bed and it was almost like my heart was thumping, laughing at me. Like, OH no honey, you're not getting to sleep. You shouldn't even be laying down! Even still, as I write this, at 6:38 a.m., I still couldn't go lay down and sleep. I didn't even drink much coffee today! Maybe I should have drunk more.