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May 15, 2005

aidan the tinyblog boy

aidan_age_13.jpg

Whaddya know, the kid has had a life outside of the tinyblog masthead. I'm happy to report that he's a happy, healthy kid with some mad Aikido skillz who thinks he's Robert Plant (kinda looks like Robert Plant, too!).

I asked him if he remembered living with me and he gave me a knowing look. "Yeah," he said, "I remember some things."

I wondered what. I wondered if he remembered my less than shining moments, like when he put a big wad of gum into my pants. I looked down and I was like, "What the hell!?" I got so mad I grab him and shook him. Turns out you can get gum out of pants with an ice cube. Who knew.

Or I wondered if he remembered that I told him when he was 5 and really into the Star Wars movies that when he was 7 and the new Star Wars movie (episode 1) came out, I would take him the first day it came out and his momma wouldn't have anything to say about it. I did...the only available tickets on opening day were for a 4am showing...so I had him sleep over at my house that night (I was long since broken up with his mom by then) and we got up first thing in the morning and watched it. He was stoked.

Some previous tinyblog remembrances:
greek-grak-grok-groke-gruke
interview with aidan

May 11, 2005

ddt birthday smackdown

Thanks everyone who acknowleged me so warmly on my birthday.

Special props to Loverzan who made a fine hostess and cooked me birthday muffins and to Sam, who showed me some new kung-fu (Ding Do-Wah Sinus Strike). Little did I know, I would need it later.

After leaving the Wedge, we were hosted by the fine Aaron Silverburg, who reluctantly allowed us to compete in the first annual Daniel David Talsky Birthday Smackdown, brought to you by 18 pounds of sexual sweat.

First bout:

Nate vs. Daniel

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Winner: Daniel

Second bout:

Daniel vs. Shiela

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Winner: Daniel

Third bout:

Daniel vs. Cara (Match One)

cara_v_daniel_1.jpgcara_v_daniel_2.jpg

Winner: Daniel

Fourth bout:

Daniel vs. Cara (Match Two)

Winner: Cara

REMATCH SCHEDULED!

(Ben now has to challenge both of us.)

Fifth bout:

Ben vs. Cara

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Winner: Ben

Sixth bout:

Ben vs. Daniel

Winner: Ben

Championship bout:

Ben vs. Andrew

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Winner: Ben

Cats represent mothafucka!

May 3, 2005

handstones

I pushed the blanket of
yellow leaves off the cement.
Same as always: 
	they are back!
Why bother to sweep them?
They will rot. She said,
(as I prepared to give her a one-handed massage)
		“You shouldn’t ride a bike!”

And I thought:
	
“I have to find a reasonable level of risk
		between

telecommuting from Norway while wrapped in a thick sheaf of California King-size comforters and eating only what I can have delivered by trustworthy organic providers

		and

dedicating myself to blindfolded kung-fu jungle warfare hang-gliding.”

		I’ve got to ride a bike, woman!
	There’s no joy for me on this 72 metro bus. It aches like a mistake
like herpes
or a heartbreak

this broken wing
an injured haunch
this crippled thing

I tried to get a jump on Christmas
but it got the jump on me

I’ll be healed about the time I get used to doing things in 100 steps

·	Put down the glass
·	Pick up the pitcher and pour
·	Switch hands
·	Lean the pitcher against my chest
·	Open the fridge
·	Prop the door with my leg
·	Put the pitcher back in
·	Take the Vicodin®
·	Pick up the glass and swollow

I had two chances to look at my tender swollen lump before they wrapped it up in a shiny blue sheath of rock hard cloth making a six week house for a very stinky arm.