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in which i cause absolutely no one a great deal of surprise

"Shit," I thought, "I'd better get out of the street." I quickly grabbed the bike, instinctively with my right hand and pulled it up onto the sidewalk with me, and then dropped it there.

A scrape on my ankle...okay, not too bad. A scrape on the knee, oh damn, that's gonna hurt in the morning. And uhhh, my wrist...feels a little numb and funny. Might have broken my fall with it. Hmmm...might be a little bruised there. Might not be able to keep riding. That sucks.

And wait...it's really not feeling so good. I think I'd better just sit here and rest for a moment and think about it. Maybe if I'm okay I can just take a bus to where I'm going. I don't have any health insurance so I don't want to go get an X-ray if I don't have to.

The vines and the...dirt...feels so cool. So nice to sit here. So hot from the bike ride. I'm really sweating! Get these gloves and hat off. There, that's better. Ahhhh, that's better. Now about that wrist.

Oooh, yeah. It feels funny. I guess I'd better go get an X-Ray. Maybe I should call Roseanne and have her come get me. No...I'm too embarassed. I was over at her house but begged off and went home cause I was feeling tired, went home and took a nap, and my friend from New York was in town and wanted to go out for a beer. Her feelings will be hurt.

Ben! I'll call Ben! They just found his stolen car...he'll come get me. You know, it feels like I broke the distal end of the radius. Hope I didn't get any carpals.

"Mr. Talsky, it looks like you broke the distal end of the radius."

"No carpals?"

"No...it's close to the joint, but you may not need surgery."

"That would be nice."

"Are you okay Mr. Talsky? Are you in pain?"

"umm. The... she just gave me some morphine."

"Oh, good. We're gonna hold your arm up by the fingers and put a splint on you. So let me know if you need any more."

"I'm fine...I mean, I will." (I love orthopedic guys!)

I just got my new phone with a camera on it, and now that I'm in a hall in the ER and desperately want to use it, it's short on batteries. Guess I shouldn't have played that video game on it for a half an hour.

There's a guy in a bed in front of my who's snoring loudly and his oxygen alarm keeps going off until some random nurse or doctor walks by and shakes him, "sir, wake up. Take a few deep breaths, Wake up sir. You need to breathe." Then later, once they're used to him and it's later and the drunks are pouring in and they just stop long enough to sake him and say loudly, "remember to breathe!".

In front of me there's a guy with a big bandage over a bloody patch over his forehead. He sits calmly for hours until a big black doctor gets ready to pull him into the other room. "make me look pretty," he says.

Down the hall I sometimes hear yells of drunken indignation or pain. A few times I hear the question, "Have you had any other drugs tonight?" I'm glad I was stone cold sober, for some reason, I always have been everytime I've broken something. That's nine times if anyone's counting. At least it's my left arm this time.

Ben was my fucking hero. By the time I walked out of Harborview at 3am with a temporary splint and a baggie of Vicodin, he had been waiting with me there for over an hour and a half. I had been there for over five hours.

Roseanne was my other hero. She put me up on her living room futon and I think we talked in my sweaty drugged state, it was painfully sweet like old times but not. The next morning Sam attacked my splint with metallic markers and drew Reiki healing symbols and hearts. And hey...my phone has a camera on it.



You need to wear a damn helmet. Or are you just leaving that up to karma? Seriously man, you could kill yourself.

Oh Daniel. I have been counting and 9 is a pretty big number. Enjoy the drugs.

Oh Daniel. I have been counting and 9 is a pretty big number. Enjoy the drugs.

Oh Daniel. I have been counting and 9 is a pretty big number. Enjoy the drugs.

soon you will be nothing but steel pins and prosthetics. i would hate to be behind you as you pass through airport security. they would be wanding you for an hour!



Dude! Stop breaking yourself!
I sometimes wish I could loan out my neigh-unbreakability to freinds sometimes... I think you need it more than I do.

Hmmm I just noticed I get redundant and can't spell worth squat after 5 Leinenkugel Oktoberfest's....

Mahn, that's harsh. Can't you ever just... sprain something?

I have to say again, you do not have to rush to the afterlife ahead of me just to make me feel good...
Stop it!

Oh sweet darlin'...

Happy healing. and thanks for all the broken-wristed technological assistance!