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I'm sure there's a lot of gay people out there that would be handling the wedding plans like a completely Jewish American Princess. And here we are, with the unquestioned legal right to legal and spiritual union and I'm so afraid we're gonna totally botch it!

I can, like, hear Fran Drescher or something saying in her high, nasally Flushing voice, "Oh my GAWD people, your wedding is in four months and you don't even have a caterer yet?"

It took us like four months even just to come up with a location and wedding invitations. Now we have like 6 people who have officially RSVP'd, and no cake, no caterer, no wedding dress, no rings. (Okay, so we've designed the rings and everything, we just have to drop off a check.)

I swear to god whatever licensing body gave me my Grown-Up license should be audited or something.

But really though, what the fuck, we love each other, and we have a pretty location, and we'll find some way to feed those six people...even if I have to cook a big hunk of meat for them myself. Oh wait...most of them are like pescatarians.

As it approaches I feel closer and closer to Roseanne, and gladder and gladder that I resisted the very strong urge to bolt to Uganda. I mean, I'm sure Uganda is cool and everything, but there's a lot to said for the sacred institution, and having a nice pretty garden, and starting a business, and just facing all my intimacy issues and weirdness with one cool, trustworthy girl.

I read in a recent issue of Parabola on marriage, that in an Indian wedding, there�s this part of the marriage where the groom goes for a walk, and is symbolically trying to decide whether to choose the life of spiritual asceticism (it�s a little late for that, kid). But the father, who knows that bachelorhood is closer to asceticism and that the groom would be naturally drawn to that life, comes up to him and sort of gives him a sales pitch on the virtues and advantages of married life. I sort of wish I had that, because there�s not a lot of un-ironic �pro-marriage� voices in our culture.

I think it will be okay, I�m calming down about it, even as I wish I could magically make all the details take care of themselves. And hey, tomorrow�s my birthday! The party's on the 14th. You're invited)