my momma taught me better than that
A good friend called me from Illinois the other day. She just moved there with her new husband.
"Happy Valentine's Day," I said, "did Nathan get you something?"
A pause, "No, we agreed not to do anything for Valentine's Day."
"WHAT?! And he believed you? You got him something though, right?"
"Well, I got him a card."
"Of COURSE you did. Oh my God, this marriage is not going to work."
Men, let me just break it down for you. I know that it's a made-up Hallmark holiday, but it's a symbol. There's absolutely no agreement that will keep your girlfriend from having her little girl feelings hurt if you don't get her a fucking Valentine's Day/ Christmas/ Birthday/ Martin Luther King Jr. Day present.
There's still a few hours left. If you didn't get your girlfriend a Valentine's Day present then get up off your uneducated ass and go get at least a card you pathetic moron! Didn't your momma teach you better than that?
Comments
go tinymomo!
we without valentines salute you.
p.s. thanks for being the swell you that you are and making my vday nice.
Posted by: rebecca | February 14, 2002 6:27 PM
I didn't do anything. If anyone bought me anything, I think I'd be a little creeped out. An e-card or SMS from mates is always nice, though.
Posted by: andrea | February 14, 2002 7:19 PM
Ugh, I HATE how guys think that agreeing not to do anything is in ANY WAY legit. You're right, Daniel -- you gotta deliver the fucking present or SHE'LL NEVER FORGET IT.
Posted by: Katie | February 14, 2002 8:53 PM
We hail you, Oh Bringer of Wisdom to the masses of clueless males out there. It's so true.
Posted by: rzan | February 14, 2002 9:55 PM
Wait, wait, wait. Now, I have to disagree.
Mike and I decided that we weren't getting anything for each other on V-Day (or birthdays, or anything but Christmas this year) - because we're trying to save up for the wedding.
And neither of us got anything for the other. And I was not upset in the least. In fact, he was acting like he *did* get me something, and I got a little upset, because we had agreed *not* to. And if he *had* gotten something, I would have felt guilty because I didn't get him anything - and I hate feeling guilty.
Now, *that* should throw a kink in your theory. We can't have you males trying to figure us out, now can we?
Posted by: Shelly | February 15, 2002 2:46 PM
Now guys...Shelly's little diatribe here is just the kind of thing that you CANNOT fall for. Nod your head, say yes dear, and then go out and get a card at least. Or if you're broke, then MAKE A CARD. I don't care if you hook her up to a polygraph and she says she doesn't care...you get some chocolates or a card.
I submit I, Asshole's Valentine's Day post.
http://www.shauny.org/asshole/
(sorry no direct links)
She tries to pull the same shpiel, that she doesn't care about V-Day, but her wise husband KNOWS BETTER. He finds babysitting and drags her out for Sushi and a film. Bravo Seth!
Posted by: Daniel Talsky | February 15, 2002 6:18 PM
hrrmmm...
Yeah, I really don't care if I get anything or not (and I didn't). It's a nice thought and all, but I'd rather get nothing than some cheezy-ass five-dollar Hallmark card with embarassing drivelly gush and a bad watercolor on the front. Besides, I've gotten lazy about gifting, so then there's no pressure on me :-)
Maybe a movie.
Posted by: jennie | February 15, 2002 7:11 PM