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more notes from retreat (8-27-01)

more notes from retreat (8-27-01)

It took me awhile to get my shit together emotionally today. I had wierd, lonely, crazy dreams last night, and I woke up this morning to find that I had caused a mouse to be drowned in my own urine.

Freeform outdoor peeing is verboten here. I dunno if it's a smell thing, or an animal thing, or a not-defiling-the-retreat-land thing. In any case, it's either the outhouse, or plastic pee-pots that we bring down to the cabins, and then empty in the morning. I happened to take a pee-pot without a lid, and didn't go find a lid.

I went two days without emptying mine, or perhaps the poor guy would've been able to touch bottom and last until morning. Normally, a mouse wouldn't be able to get into one of them, but I place my little urine deathtrap partially beneath the two lowest stairs.

I woke up to a bit of a stomach ache. It was very cold and when I saw something big and black in my pee-pot, I hoped it was a leaf or something. Man, what a way to go.

Normally it feels so good to kick off my shoes on the shrine room porch as the gong to call people in is being struck...but today I was restless and my knees hurt. After meditation I didn't even get up, just sort of lounged there. The Lama came back in and started doing walking meditation. I joined him, and while doing something so simple, I immediately felt a little better. It was good to move my body.

I went outside and did some chi kung and then breakfast. Then the sun started to come up.

Time for kitchen duty.