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happy valentines day

Happy Valentine's Day (*)

Sometimes the light of love just seems so dim, and where can we find it in order to nurture and cultivate it? The Booge has been asking all of these spiritual questions lately, but this is my real question: Can I overcome my own confusion and be a generator of love, even when it's coming from nowhere else? And if so, where is it to be found, and how can I get access to it.

A man in a prison will think day and night, "How can I get out of here, there must be some way for me to escape." That's how I feel today, like a man in prison. I had to stop reading Crime and Punishment, becuase it was just accentuating the desperation of my state of mind. I tried calling some people who I thought might be some good influence, or a little TLC*, but it seems like the grown-up thing is to make plans in advance, and no one just hangs out on the spur of the moment anymore. Now people say, "February is not good for me."

Oh bother! As Pooh would say. I know the Dharma helps, but to get started praciting ther Dharma in any given moment, I have to really stop running from my pain and sit down and look at it, and that certainly doesn't make it go away right away by itself, it is just the first step. So many little waves of anger and resentment, all radiating out from the tender hurt part that doesn't want to be hurt anymore.

Sheesh, do I sound like a self-help book yet? Well, banal psuedo-wisdom is really not what tinyplace is about, so I will quit here, but I just wanted to share the reality of my lonliness and make the aspiration that all are freed from lonliness and feelings of seperation, and that every last being experiences the joy of connectedness with every other being.

* Tender Loving Care