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naked on public access

Ok, I've known you all for a little while now...I think it was about time I told you about the times I was naked on public access cable TV.

I used to read poetry aloud pretty often in Seattle. One day a lady who ran a poetry reading on Public Access called "Sweet Immolation" approached me and asked me if I wanted to read poetry for the summer show. She said it was going to be the "Summer of Love" show, and that we could wear hippie clothes or streak or whatever. I could even read my poetry naked she said. The idea of reading poetry naked on TV just seemed like the coolest possible thing to be doing. So I said yes.

It aired on the same night as the poetry reading all my friends went to, so I told them I would do a reprisal at the Globe Cafe in Seattle, WA the following week. So I got in the cable studio, whipped off my clothes, and read some poetry (one of the poems was called When I Read Poetry Naked on Cable TV and I LOST IT!). It was super fun, and I think they bluescreened out my body and made it some trippy pattern instead, so I don't even think I showed up naked except for the people in the studio audience.

Was I seen? Yes. One of my female massage clients saw it. I was pretty sheepish actually. It could have been anyone else and I wouldn't have cared. She said she thought the poetry was good though...so that's not so bad.

Anyway, the following week, I again did naked poetry, but this time in front of a rowdy crowd at the Globe Cafe. It was a blast. In fact, it was such a blast that I promised to do it again next year. Which I did. Afterwards, I went out for a beer with a friend and some really good looking girls who were dressed really funny. They said they were going to go to The Crypt, a fetish botique in Seattle, and be on a cable access show in fetish wear. When one of the girls heard that I had just been reading poetry naked, she begged me to come with and read it naked in front of the camera. It wasn't anything new to me, and the whole thing sounded pretty exciting, so I went with them. Little did I know it was the Mike Hunt Show.

The Mike Hunt show is notorious in Seattle, and Mike himself has been arrested for showing porn on public access cable TV. So, when I got there, I tool off my clothes, but no one was really paying any attention to poetry, so I just ended up prancing around in one of the girls' Rabbit Skin Coat, getting spanked, and just generally having a seriously good time. So much for my political career.

Was I seen? Yes. About a week later at work, one of my co-workers asked me innocently if I had ever been on public access. For the next year I worked at that job, there were hundreds, nay thousands, of cheap jabs and bunny jokes. Was it worth it? Absolutely. I never wanted to be a politician anyway.